Jenna and I are so excited about getting together with you all for the first time! Our intention is to move the practice to a different space in Lethbridge each week (as best we can), with some meet-ups happening outside in the summer.
HeartSpace has kindly offered up the studio for our first-ever YQL Inversion Club jam! As noted in the above poster, this event will take place on Saturday, May 11 and will begin at 2pm, likely running until about 3:30pm - you are welcome to leave before then if you want/need. We are asking for a donation of $5-10 to cover our facility rental costs. There is no need to pre-register; however, it would be helpful to have a general idea of numbers so we can plan our session most effectively. If you think you'll be joining us on, please head over to the Facebook event page (from our group page - Lethbridge Inversion Club) and let us know you're coming! (And if you'd like to stay posted about our future meet-ups, make sure to follow us there as well!) We're still sorting out details for the following get together, but will likely be skipping the May Long weekend, as Jenna and I are both unavailable. We post lots of questions and polls on Instagram to get a better idea of what works best for most people - we'd love for you to join us there as well and help us grow this group from the ground up! I hope you can make it to our first ever Inversion Club meet - it's gonna be so much fun. :)
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My clothing choices are made thoughtfully, despite not always looking super intentional or put together. I used to only care about style and value for price, but over time I began to learn that not all things are created in an ethical way, and as consumers, not only is it our right but it is also our responsibility to vote with our dollars; every item we purchase sends a message to the collective consumer machine about what's important to us as humans. So we need to think about that a little bit. Bohemian Island is a company from Thailand that makes cotton unisex harem pants. They support a dog rescue organization called Soi Dog Foundation, with 10% of proceeds going directly to their rescue efforts. #savethesoidogs I absolutely love this -- it's an example to other companies of how to give back in a practical, socially-conscious way. Animal rescue organizations around the world are severely underfunded, and initiatives like this really do make a difference, especially when they begin to gain popularity. I've bought harem pants from two other companies in the past, and my first impression when receiving these was that the quality was superior to the others; while they still felt very light, the construction seemed solid and they just felt sturdier overall...maybe made with a little more love. They sent along a care card, which I appreciate, that suggests hand-washing and hanging to dry... Okay, fine. (Proper laundry management is not a strength of mine, but I'm sure there are lots of people out there who have no issue hand washing their clothing. I'm trying to be more like those people...it's a process.) Cam was also pretty excited when I opened the package with my harem pants. I said, "You're welcome to wear these, too-" and he instantly replied, "Oh, I will." These are one-size-fits-most* and unisex, totally appropriate for the grooviest guys out there. *Bohemian Island also has a "plus size/extra large" option, which is great, because honestly, these are on the small side for a unisex one-size-fits-most pant; they fit me comfortably in the waist and the ankle cuffs sit right where I'd like them to, and I normally wear a women's size XS or Small (for your reference). But can you really do yoga in these pants? (People ask me that every time I wear them) Yes, you totally can, as demonstrated in all of these photos. They're light and loose and comfortable and I don't feel like I'm going to rip them, even in the splits. I also just found out that Bohemian Island now make t-shirts, shorts and dresses (as well as kids' sizes!), and I've got my eye on the cutest little summer getup right now: If you're in the market for some comfy harem pants, think about supporting a really cool company with ethical and sustainable practices that's supporting the voiceless. This is mindful fashion to me, and I am here for it. #bohemianisland
This morning, I found an old blog of mine (the second one I created) called "quiet heart, open mind". Naturally, I began reading through my old posts ranging from seven to 10 years back. Most of them were pretty cringe-worthy, as I was deeply invested in the cult of Bikram Yoga at that time. But, there were a few little gems tucked in there that brought tears to my eyes. I'd found myself being so judgemental and harsh to past-Sarah for the things she'd written back then, but the post I'm sharing below, in particular, reminded me of my (true, enduring) spirit and the importance of being tender with all versions of myself. Even when things were kind of a mess, I was learning how to love myself. And I think that's really beautiful. {I love myself, and all of my parts ~ Feb 22, 2012}I love my arms.
I used to think they were too small. And then too fat. Also, too weak; not muscular enough. I thought I'd like to have arms like Jessica Biel, or maybe Kelly Ripa, or Madonna...and then, "Oh dear lord, not Madonna. Those arms are totally frightening." I wondered how many bicep curls it would take to get to the point of loving them. And then when I thought I didn't have nearly enough time or energy for that, how many would it take before I'd just like them a little bit? But now, I realize how truly magnificent they are: in the morning, they push me out of bed and pull on my clothes; they provide the strength to open the jar of peanut butter, and then spread it on my toast, which will give me energy for the first part of the day; and they hug my fluffy kitties and keep my dog close to me on her leash. In the afternoon, they enable me to write down my thoughts so they don't take up too much space in my head; they embrace my friends and family with I-love-you-and-I'm-so-lucky-to-have-you-in-my-life hugs; they enable me to clean and beautify myself, so as to not terrify said friends and family; and they hold up the book that will transport me to another reality for a short while. In yoga, they lift me up to the ceiling to remind me of my strength and courage; they stretch out like wings and allow me to fly; they keep me balanced and are always there to catch me if I fall; they help me to bend my spine and open my chest to welcome more love into my heart; and they squeeze my legs tight for a loving full-body hug. I also love my legs. I always thought they were too short, too fat, disproportionate, and had too much cellulite. I wanted legs like a model, or like my best friend, Ashlee: long and lean, slight and feminine, with just the right amount of muscle in all the right places. I tried running, pilates, squatting and lunging across my living while watching America's Next Top Model (which only made me hate my stubby legs more), but I was never satisfied, because even if I noticed slight improvements in the shape or tone of my legs, they were still too short, too fat, disproportionate, had too much cellulite... But now, I give thanks to them, every single day. They get me to where I need to go, no questions asked; they allow me to run around and wrestle with my playful puppy; they gave me 10 years of soccer, which helped me to understand and appreciate myself in so many different ways; they propel me through the water, whenever I'm so inclined to swim; they provide a solid foundation to keep me grounded and uplifted, all at once. In yoga, they kick up to the ceiling, contorting my body into an elegant dancer's pose; they provide the strength to realign all the joints that had already started to give me grief, even in my first quarter-century of life; they put pressure on my abdomen to regulate my moody and sensitive digestive system; and on those really, really tough days when my lunch refuses to stay down or my bladder is about to burst, they get me the hell out of the hot room, fast. And so it goes: I thought my butt was too big; now, I appreciate the cushioning it provides for long lectures, or lengthy commutes, and I like the way it fills out my jeans. My stomach was too flabby, not defined enough, I wished it looked like Megan Fox's; now, it seems perfectly normal and wonderfully fine, even when it's housing a food baby. It's so easy to compare ourselves to others and covet what we don't have, and it's natural to lose sight of how incredibly fortunate we are to have fully functioning and uniquely beautiful body parts. But it's so important to remind ourselves that as long as we're putting the love and respect that we require and deserve into our bodies, we're just right, and immensely beautiful, exactly the way we are. Give love to yourself and all of your parts, every single day. if you ever
feel unloved: bring one hand to your heart and the other to your centre. close your eyes. inhale deeply and honour that breath. feel your heart beating, for you - carrying you forward with a rhythm that's all your own. don't rush the breath out of your body; soften every part of yourself. feel the energy within your body and be with your breath. remind yourself of the power of your breath - the strength of your body - and the tenderness of your heart. your love grows where your energy goes. you have the support of the entire universe. you are alive; you are loved. Teaching yoga has always given me purpose and the practice itself has helped me heal some deep wounds. Long before I knew that trauma-sensitive yoga (TSY) was a thing, I knew that I had to find a way to bring this healing practice to those who really need it the most. Until now, I’ve only shared TSY in a private setting, so I’m honoured and (very!) excited to bring this practice to my beautiful home studio in downtown Lethbridge: HeartSpace. WHAT IS TRAUMA-SENSITIVE YOGA?Trauma-sensitive yoga (or trauma-informed yoga) is a practice that utilizes invitational language, emphasizes choice, and encourages an embodied experience through mindfulness and somatic exercises, gentle yoga asana and heart-based meditation practices. TSY is safe, supportive, needs-adaptive and exploratory. There is a focus on cultivating awareness of present moment experience, taking effective action, making empowered choices and creating stabilizing rhythms. In his book, Teaching Trauma Sensitive Yoga, Brendon Abram explains, "Yoga helps with trauma in three main ways. First, it takes our awareness away from a past event experience and into an experience of an event that is happening in the present moment. Second, it teaches us how to expand our window of tolerance to regulate physical, emotional and cognitive sensation. Third, it encourages us to explore the concept that we are connected to something greater than ourselves." I was trained with the Trauma Center Trauma Sensitive Yoga (TCTSY 20-hrs) model and I primarily use this methodology and philosophy to frame my classes; however, my approach largely draws upon my own experiences with yoga, trauma and healing from CPTSD. I have been teaching for 8 years and practicing for 11, but my experiences with trauma forever altered my relationship with yoga, I'm incredibly grateful for this opportunity to share the practice in this way at HeartSpace. THE HEARTSPACE TSY SERIESStarting May 9 and running for six weeks, we will meet every Thursday evening at 6pm for a gentle 60-minute yoga practice. Our TSY classes are inclusive to any individual who identifies with having experienced trauma, loss or grief, and will be open to both studio members and newcomers. While you are not obligated to attend every class (nor are you expected to share your story), we do ask that you register for these sessions in advance, as space is limited. The environment and group will be consistent and you are required to do only as much as you are comfortable with. HeartSpace is equipped with bolsters, blankets, blocks and mats, but you are welcome to bring your own props/mat if you'd like to. We respect your privacy; your personal information and participation in this class will be kept confidential. Trauma is a subjective experience and affects us to varying degrees. If you feel like this is the right class for you, it probably is; however, if you have any questions I'd be happy to chat and help you decide if our TSY offering at HeartSpace Studio is a good fit for you. (*email me: saraspondayoga@gmail.com*) If you're ready to join, register HEREI've spent much of my life feeling misunderstood, unseen or excluded, and I think these are feelings that all people can relate to at some point in their own lives. I'm sure that some of this can be attributed to my own slanted or biased perspective of certain experiences (making assumptions about the feelings or intentions of others, taking things personally when I shouldn't, etc) but I also know that the pain of feeling not-good-enough is undeniably real. The fact is, I've always been really sensitive to the energy of others, and it took me a long time to (*better*) understand the subtle interaction of vibrational forces rather than letting weird vibes drag me way down. I think we're more receptive to the energy in a room than we often realize or give ourselves credit for. In the past, whenever I've had that gut feeling that a certain group or place is not the right fit for me, I've been right. We've all heard the wellness tropes about vibrations and energy and connection ("your vibe attracts your tribe", and the like) but if you've felt this for yourself, you'll understand the truth and power behind those sentiments. There is also increasingly more research and scientific data being collected around the subtle body and energetic fields, and how we relate with others through these unseen forces. I attended a lecture with Dr. Bruce Lipton two years ago at the International Yoga Festival in Rishikesh called, Epigenetics and the Power to Change the Unconscious Mind. He talked about the unique vibrational profile of each atom, and explained constructive interference as "compatible energies coming together that increase the force of the wavelength" -- in other words: they join up and expand, creating "good vibes". The opposite interaction is known as destructive interference (unsurprisingly), which results in the "bad vibes" we feel when wavelengths meet but are out of synch, and essentially cancel one another out. At one point in the lecture, Dr. Lipton said: "the first communication of every organism in the Universe is vibrational" That resonated with me so hard. He followed up with, "we're taught to ignore our feelings and rationalize our way through life - FOLLOW YOUR HEART: this is your energy gauge," as he passionately brought hand to heart space. The heart's message is clear and uncomplicated if we listen closely; the key is learning how to tune in to your own frequencies. At the beginning of the year, I was offered an incredible opportunity, seemingly out of the blue: I was presented with a job teaching yoga (a fair number of classes) and working the juice bar at a new studio opening downtown. Just over a month prior to this big change, I had all but given up on teaching yoga in Lethbridge, so naturally, it wasn't easy taking another leap of faith that could easily become another face plant. I'd had a really disappointing experience with a local studio this past fall and realized I was facing a lot of destructive interference, so I made the difficult decision to leave. Cam and I had also decided that the age of private yoga in our home was ready to come to an end, so for a while, I faced a really uncertain future, as far as my teaching yoga was concerned. It was uncomfortable to sit with that while it lasted, but eventually I came to see that the universe had been asking me to make space for something much more positive in my life. I have no reason to call anyone out or throw shade for not being treated the way I would have hoped; we'll feel disappointed often if we always expect the best from people. (I'm working on this...) But I've heard a similar sentiment from so many people in this community - about not being able to find a yoga studio that feels like home or the 'right fit' - that I just want to say I've finally found my yoga home, and I welcome you to come practice with us and see if it feels like yours, too. The moment I stepped into HeartSpace Yoga Studio for the first time, I felt instantly embraced by the energy -- it was natural, comfortable, easy, and just felt right. We've been hearing this a lot from our students (we ALL want to move in, you guys!) and I can't even begin to tell you how happy that makes my heart. I completely acknowledge that your own experience might feel really different from this, and that is totally fine - there are finally enough options in our city that I believe there's a right space for every yogi. Just don't give up, like I almost did, if you feel like you don't fit anywhere; there's a tribe out there somewhere for you. (And a home yoga practice is a really good alternative in the meantime!) The studio itself is bright and clean with big windows facing 5th Street, drapey white curtains and tiny string lights, lots of plants and beautiful original hardwood flooring. All classes are held at room temperature (no hot yoga), and the space is equipped with lots of props (mats, blocks, blankets, bolters and straps) for you to use, free of charge with any pass or drop-in. Solstice Juice Co. is located in the lobby and serves fresh-pressed juice, 3 kinds of nut mylk, locally-made kombucha and (soon to come!) healthy snacks. It's been a big hit in the 5 weeks we've been open, and I am a self-confessed full-blown juice addict already. (I don't know what's going to happen when the lemonades roll out in the spring and summer... probably, I'll pull a Violet Beauregarde and turn into a giant lemon...) There are currently 6 regular teachers offering a variety of class styles and approaches to yoga practice, with other local and visiting instructors stopping in for the odd class or workshop. Lauren and Tracy (the owners of HeartSpace) were striving to create a studio with a warm vibe and inclusive community, and I think they've done exactly that and more with this space. We have a two-week unlimited introductory pass for only $30, so you can try out the studio with no obligation to commit. Those yogis who sign up for our recurring monthly membership receive 10% off juice, retail and workshops, and there is no additional sign-up fee to start the contract. (There is a minimum commitment of 3 months, and after that, we ask for at least 10 days notice if you need to cancel.)
I'm truly loving practicing and teaching at HeartSpace, and I'm so grateful for every single person who has made the space what it is. I feel so love and supported, and I'm really looking forward to seeing how things unfold for us all here. Thank you, yogis. I love you. See you on the mat. Namaste. GETTING BACK ON MY MATThis topic has been difficult for me to even begin writing about because it's just so close to my heart, and I want to ensure I share this experience in the most authentic and open way possible. It was my own experience with trauma that led me to explore trauma-sensitive yoga (TSY), and because of those roots, teaching and sharing about this healing practice will always be very personal to me. However, for the sake of privacy and safety, I don't plan on speaking extensively about my personal experience with domestic abuse; instead, I'll be sharing a bit about my own recovery and journey with yoga for healing. My hope is that this connects to somebody who needs it and is enough to plant a seed. My intention is to continue sharing about my experience with TSY as I learn and grow as a facilitator, as well as to continue cultivating awareness about the power of yoga as a healing practice. I do want to note that trauma is complex and personal, and I am in no way recommending yoga as a replacement therapy; I'll simply be sharing about this particular healing modality as one tool on the path to recovery. In his book, Overcoming Trauma Through Yoga, David Emerson explains and clarifies this perfectly: "Trauma has a deep and long-lasting effect on the entire organism, from chemical and anatomical changes in the brain, to changes in our body's physiological system, to the subjective impact on the experience of the survivor. We believe that treatment for trauma must be equally thorough -- considering the person as a whole and addressing the broad-ranging effects of trauma on an individual. It also needs to meet the intensity of the traumatic sequelae with an equal measure of patience, compassion, and gentleness. If we are to help people recover from the insidious violation of their humanity that is trauma, we must be able to offer a varied array of tools to aid in this task. At the Trauma Center, we are beginning to understand how yoga can serve as one particularly effective tool for helping trauma survivors on their often long and complex path to recovery." Our bodies are the texts that carry the memories and therefore remembering is no less than reincarnation. - Katie Cannon Even with time, trauma can have a serious impact in the present. Some memories will actually manifest as real physical sensations; trauma makes itself at home in the body, like an unwelcome guest shaking up your peace and calm. As Bessel Van der Kolk puts it in his book, The Body Keeps the Score, "After trauma, the world is experienced with a different nervous system." In my experience, everything felt different. I was trying to survive and reorient myself in a world that no longer felt safe or worth engaging in. My body felt foreign to me, and my mind was like a battlefield keeping me trapped by the painful memory of what I'd been through. I thought that leaving the abusive environment would be enough to begin and really make progress in my healing journey, that removing myself would mean I was fine now, and able to move forward. But this was not at all how things unfolded for me. I moved into a new apartment with almost nothing and I slowly tried to rebuild a home - and a life - for myself there. I felt isolated, and I was afraid of what all the aloneness would bring me. At first, my mom was there to help get me settled and keep an eye on me. She took me to see my doctor and helped me explain what had happened when I wasn't able to speak. I was diagnosed with CPTSD (complex post traumatic stress disorder) and was prescribed anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds and sleeping pills. The memory of those initial months still brings me deep sorrow. I'd have random flashbacks that would send me to the floor, shaking and crying in a fetal position until the intensity had subsided enough for me to pick myself up again. I tried to practice yoga, but my body wasn't ready and it would always end as quickly as it begun: with me sobbing into my mat. At first (and for a while), the only way I felt safe to express what was going on in my inner landscape was through painting. When I took my trauma-sensitive yoga training in 2017 (Trauma Center Trauma Sensitive Yoga, 20-hr program), this was one of the first things I wanted to ask -- What about those people who physically cannot manage a yoga practice without becoming triggered? What do you do when the pain is still too fresh? (The short answer was that the physical yoga practice isn't really for those people yet, unfortunately.) In my first year of recovery, just noticing that I had a body and bringing my awareness to my breath was excruciating. I felt broken, and I didn't want to spend time investigating a body that no longer felt like my own and a mind I couldn't trust. This made me even more frustrated, because I felt sure that yoga could help me but I just couldn't seem to get my body on board. I felt like a failure even as a survivor, like I was compromising my healing because I just simply wasn't strong enough. I'd used yoga to heal other injuries and past trauma, so why wasn't I able to get back to my practice when I needed it most? Before this trauma, I'd been practicing yoga for about 5 years and had been travelling and teaching yoga for a couple of years. It was the most important thing in my life and formed a huge part of my identity, but my abuser mocked and criticized my practice (and yoga in general) so much that I lost all confidence in it (and myself) and eventually stopped teaching and practicing all together. And then, when I was just beginning to feel ready to revisit my yoga practice, I had an accident that set me back, again. About 6 months after leaving my abuser, I had a fairly serious fall that resulted in a cracked skull and concussion, a broken wrist and a broken tailbone. Lying in the hospital bed that night, drifting in and out of consciousness, I felt completely lost and disconnected from my body. I couldn't feel my legs, my back and wrist were throbbing and I was bleeding from my head. Strangely enough, though, it felt all too familiar, like a representation of the emotional trauma I'd been living with for almost two years. Eventually, they sent me home, but advised me to have someone keep an eye on me for a while. I didn't have anyone, though, and I remember hoping that I'd simply fall asleep and not wake up. Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place. Rumi Recovery, at it's core, is a journey of self-awareness and mindfulness, and of course, so is yoga; this makes TSY a natural fit and incredibly interesting to me as a healing tool. I've always deeply believed in the healing power of yoga, and because of the work of people like Bessel Van der Kolk and David Emerson, we're now able to put some scientific merit behind this belief. I can't adequately express my gratitude that there are individuals and organizations out there dedicating their lives to helping others heal, and I truly don't know where I'd be had I not found my way back to these influences. After my diagnosis of CPTSD, I needed something concrete and tangible to give me hope in my own ability to heal, and while it took me a while to get there, TSY serendipitously found it's way into my life over three years later. (I'll get back to this in a future post!) My own return to yoga practice came prior to my discovery of TSY, and it was the most difficult thing I've ever done. My healing process has been gritty, unpredictable, and long; a true blood-sweat-and-tears mission. I spent about six months building up my home practice, starting out at only 10 minutes or so -- just as much as I could handle. I'd lost all of my strength and flexibility from both emotional and physical trauma and was still dealing with excruciating pain in my tailbone and sacrum. I cried through most practices, either because of my pain or the thoughts and feelings that would arise as I journeyed inward. I was meeting myself again, but a damaged, vulnerable, terrified version of myself I wasn't familiar with; it took a long time to befriend my shadow side and truly invite all parts of myself to the mat. But this journey reminded me that there was someone in there worth saving, worth fighting for and showing up for every day. I still work on seeing the beauty of my experience with trauma in a broader sense, recognizing the growth it's brought me, and the beautiful relationships that would never have existed without it. Healing is a process, and a daily practice, but I made a vow to myself a few years ago that I would not give up, no matter how dark things got, and that determination has been the driving force of my recovery. We can hardly bear to look. The shadow may carry the best of the life we have not lived. Go into the basement, the attic, the refuse bin. Find gold there. Find an animal who has not been fed or watered. It is you! This neglected, exiled animal, hungry for attention, is a part of yourself. Marion Woodman Fast forward a few years later (if you're still with me, bless your patient heart!), and I'm looking out into a room of beautiful yogis, eyes closed with a soft expression on their faces, light-beams pouring into the studio and dancing across their mats, the calm but palpable energy surrounding us -- and I'm overcome with gratitude and love. Somehow, I've survived. Somehow, I've returned to this sacred practice, not only as a student but also as a teacher - I get to simultaneously be an explorer and a guide. And I'm here because I want to show you that there is hope. I want to remind you that for as many reasons that you can find to give up there are always more for holding on. I still cry, like, every day, but more often than not, they're tears of joy. I'm astounded by the resilience of the human spirit, and I will never stop sharing this message: HEALING IS POSSIBLE & EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY As I embark on this new journey as a TSY facilitator, I will continue to share about my experiences and observations. If this resonates with you in some way, I hope that you'll continue to follow along with this series and reach out if you have any questions or feel compelled to connect.
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